The Beginning

So I have decided to start blogging about losing weight, and coming back from the dark depths of depression.  During my depression I gained 92 pounds over a 5 year period.  I could blame it on the medication, the depression, but the blame falls on my shoulders alone.  Everyday that I made an unhealthy eating choice and was curled up in bed not exercising that was my fault.  Yes, the medication I took caused my appetite to increase, and for me to feel sluggish but ultimately the choices I made were poor choices.  Cheetos, chocolate, and sour soothers are not on the food pyramid and should never been eaten in meal size quantities.  I tried during the the last 6 years to try exercising, but never lasting long, and always giving up because I wasn't seeing results.  There were a few reasons I wasn't seeing results; such as I was eating unhealthy food and binge eating(yes I have gotten help for that), not knowing how to exercise, and the biggest reason was just feeling overwhelmed and alone.

 This February two things happened to make my life change.  The first was a class I was taking about behavior modification with involved a project in which I had to change a behavior of mine, I knew I wanted to lose weight and get in shape and found the tools in this class, but I was reluctant to put it on paper and expose myself(kinda like I am doing now).  At this same time I watched an episode on the Biggest Loser, now I am not a fan of reality TV, but when you are in school and looking to procrastinate you will watch almost anything...even Jersey Shore...which I'm sure killed off a few of my brain cells.  Well I watched the show in its entirety that week, cried during every episode and felt inspired and empowered to change my life.   So armed with my behavior modification tools, I started exercising, and only during exercise could I watch certain TV shows, I had my bike set up in front of the computer and went to work.  Encouraged by those on the Biggest Loser who went in front of millions of people and bared their souls in order to change their lives got me going.

This is me in the beginning of February, when you are fat there is not a lot of pictures of you.



Things have changed since mid February for starters I have lost 25 pounds (I started at 217) and am around 191 right now, about two months ago I joined a gym and started working out 5x a week for about an hour on the elliptical, and last week I got a trainer and am on a very healthy eating plan.  The most amazing thing...other then having clothes fit, is the depression has truly lifted. I know the depression isn't gone for good, I figure it will be around for the rest of my life....but exercise helps.

This is a more recent picture, actually the only picture I have since the last one was taken of myself, here I have lost about 20 pounds you can see it in my face a lot.
I plan on taking more pictures of my self in my workout clothes weekly, not sure how often I will post pictures of myself but monthly for sure.  I hope that you will come on this journey with me back to the size I used to be.
XOXO