Exam Week=Hiatus

No more blogging back on next Friday....have a good week enjoy it for me.

Weightier Matters

I have been sitting around 175-174 for a while, 177 was 40 pounds lost and since then it has been baby steps, in terms of losing.  I have been a little frustrated with my progress and that leads to "I don't care" eating.  Not that I have been bad, it's just been "well I'm not losing anyway so what's a granola bar?"....not a big deal just not on the diet.  K said it will come off, just keep with the program, and I believe her, I just want some results on the scale sometime soon.  The other thing that could be part of the slower weight, is my cardio has been changed, according to K I am no longer working hard enough (yes I am burning calories), it's just leaving my fitness level where I have been for the last 3 or 4 months.   So I have kicked up the cardio and couple notches and am unable to go for as long and burn as many calories, but I sure am working hard.  I have to remember that it is okay and I have lots to be proud of this far, and I am adjusting to school on top of an extremely busy and hectic life.  

However all that aside I am going to go into full gear with the diet firmly back on track and exercise and try and loss about 4 pounds in 11 days, I really really want to get down to 169.  I have it written on my hand for a reminder when I go to open the fridge.   Here it goes!

Good Good Weekend Fun

It's been very busy last two days, and they have been great days.  Friday I mentioned I had a killer workout with K, and am still suffering the consequences from that, I also had an award ceremony at Camosun for a paper I wrote last term, and a much needed girls night out.  Then Saturday I tried really hard to get some studying done, with not much luck.  I had another great workout at the gym, then went kayaking with a bunch of friends, then a game of ultimate frisbee....wow I am so so sore today.  All I can say to top of Saturday night I had a small slice of yummy chocolate cake and ice cream guilt free! After all that exercise I deserved it!
Very thankful today for wonderful friend and family I truly feel blessed.  

The Game that wasn't FUN

So my workout with K this am started like this:  K-"we are going to play a game today and I don't know if you'll like it".  So here is the game, you have one minute to do as many of the exercisers as you can,( push ups, squat presses, lunges, etc.) Then after you are done all the exercises once you have to do then twice more and beat what you have done the previous time.
I HATED that game.  I went out giving it everything I had and by the second go round I was spent and buy the third time I was ready to crawl out the door in protest.  I have never done more then 10 push ups in a row, so to get to 20 by the last round, my arms were like jello, and I kept falling, it was a mess and there were 6 or 7 other exercises equally messy.  I think that it honestly was the hardest work out yet, it was brutal and I hope to the heavens I never have to play that game again, or if I do cheat a little at the beginning and not be such a keener. Geesh!

Thanks

This last week I have had a lot of people compliment and notice my weight loss, and I really have had appreciate it. So thank you.
It has been a long couple weeks with no weight loss.  So all the encouragement came at the right time.
THANK-YOU

Food For Thought

So this weekend was full of wonderful visits and of course great food.  Food and friendship go hand in hand. It is go ingrained in our culture, that when we socialize we EAT.  The only person I know who doesn't like this is LB, he is always so busy, and wishes food could come in a little pill for convince, most of the time anyways.
We started the weekend going to a dessert potluck, when I told K she was not impressed with my plans, and asked me why I was even bothering to go! I managed to do well, I made up two big plates of fresh fruit, which i enjoyed along with a cookie.  But man oh man you should have seen the spread, it was pretty hard to leave it be, and two days later I was still thinking about it.  Than a girls spa night, with baking from Monica http://lifeinaloafpan.blogspot.com/ I knew it was coming so I went to the gym twice on Saturday knowing I wouldn't be able to say no to what ever wonder she made.  It turn out to be vanilla bean cupcakes, and she made minis!!  Sunday we were out for supper and lunch and thankfully it was healthy hearty homemade meals and managed to eat the healthy and say no to the extras, like juice, dessert, ect.
Our culture is not the only one that revolves around food, in the Trobriand Islands, when a male and female sit down to eat together they are then considered married.

Gym Pet Peeve

I had a great work out with K yesterday, and slowly feel like I am getting back on track, with school, dieting, and managing my life.
So I have mentioned before that I am incredibly uncoordinated, and yesterday K had me do what I think to be an exercise that does not work with awkward people like myself.  I had to squat, no big problem, than from the squat position jump on to a half ball and stick the landing so I don't go falling in to workout machines....seriously I was so worried about bailing the whole time, forget about feeling the burning sensation in my quads.
So at my gym there are TV's everywhere, awesome I love that, except for the people who watch food shows.  I have a hard enough time when a Reese pieces peanut butter cup commercial comes on for 90 seconds, not to jump off my machine and run down stairs and grab one.  Let alone what a hour long show, with cakes, cookies, cheeses, breads, pastas, or whatever else is cookin, without going home and cooking up something fabulous and not diet friendly.  It drives me crazy, even if I am not watching it, it always catches my eye, and end up feeling hungry.  So I need to know whats up with food shows while at the gym?

Eat Pray Love Hate

I had a really hard time with this book.  Especially the eat section, it hit really too close to home, she suffered from depression and too much of what she wrote made me feel naked and vulnerable.  I try to be honest with what I go through with depression but after reading this book I realized that I am not as honest as I thought.  I spent many nights on the bathroom floor crying, trying not to wake LB, our marriage was not in any trouble I just hated watching him feel helpless and when he would ask what he could do there was nothing I could ever say, which would make the two of us feel even worse.  I struggled with wanting and not wanting to take medication. Growing up medication was not the answer and certainly not a cure in my family, even my grandfather in stage four cancer felt no need for western traditional medication and choose an alternative route which ended up giving him a peaceful end. And so many internal battles were waged until I made peace with the fact that I may have to always take medication, I still struggle everyday to take my medication. I look at the pills and make myself swallow them because I know that my life has improved immensely and I cannot afford to not take them.  I had a very similar cry for help, calling and begging a wonderful women to help me, to save me because I didn't think I could live like this much longer, without serious long term harm coming to myself.  And luckily for me I called the right person at the right time and got some much needed help, as I had reached out before and turned away.
I think it is worth the read just for the picture of desperation Elizabeth paints in her suffering of depression, the rest of the book is much lighter and carefree, and the movie I've been told has little to do with her depression.

Gross

Just in case you thought I was ever exaggerating when it comes to K's workouts...I'm not this is what my clothes look like when I leave......................................................................YUCK

Weekend Shenanigans

This is what should have happened this weekend and didn't...well LB is napping right now.  He's a little tired and I wish that is what I was doing but I've got reading to do.
Friday night was dinner out with friends of LB who are writing the UFE the big exam he wrote last year.  Gosh I am glad that is over, yuck and yuck that was not a fun week for me, stressing and trying to pretend I wasn't stressed for LB's sake who really was stressed. I wasn't any good at pretending.  I also managed to get to the gym after we had contractors here at the house all morning and ended up working out an extra 1/2 hour.  Doesn't seem like a lot, but it sure is to me.  
Saturday morning was another epic ride, not as epic as last week.  Here are the numbers 45km, 2 hrs and 15 minutes total to Sidney and back on the bike. It is a beautiful ride, along farms, forest and beside the ocean.  We live in the most amazing place.  We should have done this bike trip last week, honestly what was I even thinking trying to start out biking 80km.  I spent the rest of the day reading(and not the fun book kind...the textbook kind) and limping around the house.  This weeks ride was over all harder on me than last weeks ride.  I think it is because there really was only 5 days in between and my body hadn't really gotten over Mondays ride.  Anyways I still would like to get another ride in like that next weekend.
This morning we went hiking, just under 2 hours from our place to the top of Mt Doug and back.  Yep up by 7 to get that done before church...so much for sleeping in.  It again was a beautiful day that made me feel so grateful to being living here in Victoria and able to get out and about.
But what made my morning(and weekend) was hearing that Kienan the kidnapped child was returned, happy dance all around!  The whole thing seems a little weird to me and I'm sure that more details will come out, I am just so glad he is safe, and I hope that his mental health will be looked after in the coming days.

At War

So I haven't talked about the last binge, I have been doing okay since than but my diet has pretty much gone up in smoke.
I want to keep dieting, I need to keep dieting, I just don't know what has happened to my will power.  It's been heading down hill since the second week in August, just a little treat here and there, which is fine if it is once in a while, but not daily.  And in the last week...poof gone.  I am not quite sure where to go from here.  I have the best intentions, but the ice cream in the freezer wants me to have a little taste, and the burger at the restaurant wants me to order fries with that. I have 12 pounds to lose by the end of the month. That is 20 days away, not a lot of time left.
I hope to figure something out this weekend, a meal plan, some sort of motivation to get back on track.  

Much needed break day

So K did not take it easy on me yesterday, two different types of lunges, one of them were jumping lunges and step ups.  I gave 100% and ended up in a rough go of it later that night.  I should have slowed down when I fell doing step ups and nearly landed on K, but I kept going.  By the time I was done I could barely move and was so tired, to tired to make anything much for dinner so had a bowl of cereal. I paid for it dearly as my legs gave out trying to get up the stairs and fell and tweaked a few things including my pride.  So never again will I got on a giant bike ride to have K work me out the next day, lesson learned.  See already in school two days and learning lots!

All about the bike

So today is the first day back and I biked to school for a 8:30 class.  I hope to commute to school biking it is 15 minutes and a bit hilly but nothing I can't do.  So i get to class and am waiting only one other person turns up and we are waiting and waiting, finally a third person comes by for a 9 class and we asked her wait class and turns out the two of us are waiting for our Monday class, needless to say I don't have to be at class until 1, so I turn around not excited to bike back(more on that in a minute) as every time I get on the bike my whole body wants to weep. Oh well I guess I get to relax a bit this am.
Sunday was our hike morning again, it was nice and relaxing, got a bit lost as we hiked up a slightly harder portion of Mt. Doug than before, rush home shower and go to the wrong church group that morning come home and LB finishes laying tile!!! Wow I am ever happy about that, and our kitchen is looking B E A U tiful! I get a sink on Saturday! We had Q (from Queasy) and dog Pavlov over for dinner, the boys went back to work on Q's house so we could do our bike ride to the Sooke Potholes.
So yesterday me, LB, and Q&Z went for a very long bike ride 56km....wow....that is why I wanted to weep at the thought of biking again to school for the 2nd time today.  My body would be happy to never ever see a bike again.
After one broken chain, and swollen earlobe(thank you wasp) sore legs, knees, bums, shoulders, sweaty backs we arrived. Tired and a wee bit hungry.  We managed to stumble down to the pot holes and just sat, not much was said, except that we would bus home.  I am very grateful today that we did, I was a little resistant at first, as I was set on biking home and nothing would change my mind.  But so so so glad for the wisdom of everyone else, as I was waiting for the bus I realized there would have ended up with a tantrum on the trial and probably still be sitting there.  There is no way I would have made it home with out a break down and that would have wreaked the whole day.
We ended the lovely tiring day at Pink Bicycle for a wonderful dinner and conversation.  I think it was about 3000 calories burned....wow.  Except for the part when I stepped on the scale and gained two pounds. LB figures it is my body going into survival mode and holding on to water....I hope he is right.
So K please no squats, lunges, hamstring curls or step ups today please please please.

40

40 pounds lost...enough said!

Mini Vacation Recap

So I am back, we left Saturday morning made it Ikea bright and early to return some damaged and not needed kitchen units, and than arrived in Kelowna then went straight to the gym.  Yes that's right I went to the gym...on vacation(insert sad face here).
The next morning we were up bright and early to go to Castlegar, about four hours of driving and we got to meet my new little cousin.  Well he is 11 months old, we just hadn't gotten a chance to see him and his wonderful family in over a year.  And oh boy did I ever fall in love with this guy.

                                                           Ryler Sydney Dodds Baker!

Sunday was the only day I didn't go to the gym as I hadn't had a rest day that week and there wasn't a lot of time when we were in the car for eight hours! I spent the afternoon at the beach, for the first time this summer and Landon went mountain biking.  I must say that I am more self conscious  in a bathing suit now than I was 39 pounds ago....yes only one more to lose and I will be at 40!  I think it is because I am becoming so much more aware of my body than I was before.

Monday and Tuesday consisted of some super super crazy time at the gym. As I knew I wanted to eat some favorite treats while in Kelowna...like Kelly O'Brian's Pachos.  So I did the treadmill on a crazy incline and found out that when the calorie counter hits 999.9 it goes back to one, yes those two days I burned over a 1000 calories, I have never gone over 800 and usually am around 650-700, so I really enjoyed those pachos.
We also went hiking on Tuesday another 500 calories, by the time I was done every joint and muscle was so and still is today.

Ringo and Lily had the best time, running through the high grass( it was burnt a couple years ago so not a lot of trees and more of a giant bush), and swimming.  The next day not so much and we got to sit in the car back at Ikea....it was way to hot to leave them by themselves and I was in the middle of a good book (Eat, Pray, Love) and volunteered.  Came home and went straight to the gym to do my last set of strength training exercises before meeting up with K today.
                                                 Also last night I got to see this one!

My baby sister who looked like this when I was her age! She has moved back home and going to school.  So for the first time since I was in grade 7 and she was in kindergarten we will be in school together! See you around campus!
Off to see K after 2 weeks going at it alone, I have been weighting myself and I am two pounds short but I am going to try and not dwell on it and see that crazy life and a bad few days of binge eating get in the way.
So happy September everyone, my blogging will probably go down to 3 times a week with school happening.   And I have a pretty high goals, I want to leave with a better GPA than LB...boy is he smart, I have a lot of work to do, I did really well last year, so just need to keep it up.