Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Horrible no good very bad day

Yesterday was a very bad day.  It started late Sunday night with a phone call letting me know, a wonderful amazing women had passed away, she was affectionately called Gramma, and lost her battle to breast cancer.  I to make a few calls the next morning to let some others know of her passing, not the way you want to start your morning.  Needless to say I was running behind and LB offered to drive me to school, and I nearly bit his head off, as he was messing with my routine, he than said you seem rather stressed and a drive would get me there for my exam before biking would.   I got to the exam early the door was locked and I started psyching myself out, that I was in the wrong place, wrong class, and I didn't study hard enough.   Exam was a little harder than I thought it would be.  Other little things kept going wrong and fast forward to my walk home.   Three blocks from home and I had a major panic attack...I've only had one or two major panic attacks before.  What makes it major is; apart from the shakes, troubled breaking, sweating, minor disorientation (from lack of oxygen) is that I lose control of my bladder and bowels.  So three blocks takes about 20 or so minutes, or maybe it just felt like it to get home.  By the time I am home I am a mess, so out of it, (felt like I was drunk).  After panic attacks like that, it is medication time and bed, to try and sleep off the after effects.  The effects of a bad panic attack can be felt for a day or so afterward.  My body is so tense, like it is stuck in the moment of fight or flight, like I am standing at a race line waiting for the gun to go off, every muscle ready to take action.   I am so glad for a new day...and that yesterday was yesterday.

                                             Good old Monty Python 


  1. Well, after your terrible, horrible, no good very bad day, it looks like you still have a sense of humour......yeah Monty Python!!!
    Here's to always looking on the bright side of life...hang in there( oops no pun, or disrespect intended), you are doing an amazing job. Almost anything can happen on a new day......
    queasy's mom(in-law)

  2. Some days all we are left with is our sense of humor and thank goodness for that!